Groomsmen Guide: How to Be an MVP on the Wedding Day
So—you’ve been asked to be a groomsman. Whether you're the best man, an usher, or part of the crew, your job goes way beyond throwing a great bachelor party (though, yes, that matters too).
This guide breaks down exactly how to support the groom during planning and on the wedding day—without being overwhelmed or unsure of what to do.
Let’s get you wedding-day ready.
Part 1: How to Be a Great Groomsman During Planning
You don’t need to be in the weeds with guest lists and linens, but showing up as a reliable, low-maintenance support person goes a long way.
Answer the Group Chat (Seriously)
The groom doesn’t want to chase you down about suit sizes or hotel blocks. Reply to messages, RSVP on time, and be the guy who makes things easier—not harder.
Take the Lead on Tasks
Need to coordinate suit rentals, help plan the bachelor party, or organize carpooling? Don’t wait to be asked. The groom has a lot on his plate—taking small tasks off of it is gold.
Respect Everyone’s Budget
Weddings can get expensive. Communicate openly and respectfully about money—especially when planning bachelor trips or renting suits. Teamwork > peer pressure.
Keep the Vibe Light
Your humor, calm energy, and general chillness? Invaluable. Help keep things fun and grounded throughout the months leading up to the wedding.
Part 2: How to Support the Groom on the Wedding Day
Now it’s game day—and your job is to show up, stay sharp, and celebrate hard. Here’s what that looks like:
Be On Time (Early, Even)
You’ll likely have a schedule for photos, getting dressed, and possibly a first look. Stick to the plan so no one’s scrambling.
Look Sharp
Make sure your outfit is steamed, shoes are clean, and accessories are correct. You’re not just representing yourself—you’re part of the groom’s inner circle.
Calm the Chaos
If anything goes wrong, you’re the buffer. Whether it’s a groomsman running late, missing socks, or a vendor question—be proactive, not panicked.
Pro Tip: If there’s a coordinator onsite (hey there! I’m Erika)—loop them in right away. We’re used to handling this kind of stuff so you can stay focused and enjoy the day alongside the groom.
Keep Him Hydrated & Fed
It sounds simple, but it’s easy for the groom to forget to eat or drink water. Bring snacks. Grab him a water. You’re the unsung hero of the day.
Celebrate Hard (But Smart)
Yes, have fun—but know your limits. This is a wedding, not a frat party. Keep the drinks chill until after the big moments are done (especially if there’s a mic involved).
Special Section: Ushers, You’re More Important Than You Think
You may not be standing at the altar, but you’re essential to the guest experience. Think of yourselves as the front-of-house team for the ceremony.
Your Role Includes:
Greeting guests with a warm smile
Handing out programs (if there are any)
Escorting guests to seats if needed
Helping elderly guests or anyone who needs assistance
Being a calming, welcoming presence
You’re the first impression of the day—bring kindness, confidence, and a touch of polish.
What to Know:
Ask the coordinator where guests with accessibility needs should sit
Know the seating plan if there’s one (like bride’s side/groom’s side—though most couples skip this)
Check with the planner or coordinator for any ceremony cues or transitions
Special Section: Best Man Duties—Stepping Up in a Big Way
As the best man, you’re not just a title—you’re the groom’s #1. Here’s how to live up to the role:
Before the Wedding:
Help the groom stay sane—remind him to breathe, eat, and not sweat the small stuff
Keep track of groomsmen, suits, and schedules
Plan the bachelor party (within budget and within reason)
Be his go-to guy for decision fatigue, last-minute questions, or just a late-night pep talk
On the Wedding Day:
Hold the rings (and maybe the groom’s nerves)
Check in with the coordinator to know what’s expected of you
Help manage the groomsmen
Stay calm if anything goes sideways—and quietly fix it when possible
The Toast:
Keep it short (2–3 minutes max), heartfelt, and appropriate
Share a memory or two, say something kind about the couple, and leave the crowd smiling
Write it in advance—don’t wing it unless you're a professional comedian
Final Thoughts: It’s Not Just a Title, It’s a Team
Being part of the wedding party is about showing up with heart and being there when it counts. You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be present, respectful, and helpful.
The groom will remember how you showed up for him—on the day and every day leading up to it.
Need Help Figuring Out Your Role?
If you’re still unsure what’s expected of you as a groomsman, usher, or best man, don’t stress. I’m here to help couples and their crew feel confident and ready. - Book a "Rent My Brain" session to walk through roles, etiquette, or logistics. I’ve got you covered.